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The End of the Road

After our ordeal in the North, we stumbled back to Hanoi on a sleeper bus to collect the rest of our belongings from Nexy and caught a flight down to Hoi An. At this point, after everything we had experienced, we were tired and in dire need of some rest, solitude and privacy. Unfortunately, we wouldn’t have privacy for a few days. I had broken one of my cardinal rules of travelling – Do not pre-book accommodation more than one night of accommodation. At some point I had booked and paid for 2 bunks in Tribee Cotu for 3 nights. Privacy would have to wait for a few more nights.


Hoi An was just as colourful, lively and hectic as I remembered. The markets by the lake at full swing by sundown, and the tourists out in their droves trying to get their memorable picture in traditional Vietnamese dress at the lake.


After an uneventful few days in Hoi An, we headed to Da Nang airport and boarded a plane to Seoul, South Korea. I was ecstatic. Not only would we have our own private room, but it would give me an opportunity to take a step out of my “backpacker” persona. At this point, I had been wandering around South East Asia for just over 5 months, living in hostels, enjoying the varied cultures, sharing space with 6 to 20 other people and existing on a diet of cheap street food.


In an odd way, going to Seoul was like taking a step home. Not in terms of culture or people (though Seoul is certainly a lot more diverse than any of the cities in South East Asia), but more in terms of economic development. Seoul as a city is a powerful one economically in its own right, a rival to London, New York and Tokyo in terms of its money and influence. Buildings are tall, money is abundant, and the local population could slot into any metropolitan city anywhere and fit right in.


In addition to that, I had a mission in Seoul. Shopping. South Korea would be the final stop before our last stop in Thailand before heading home to Ireland. The first trip to Seoul back in May had shown me that the fashion scene in Seoul was unlike any I had been before, and I had it in the back of my mind that I needed to return before heading home. I was fully prepared, having bought a cheap suitcase from Hoi An to house the abundance of clothing and trinkets.


From this stage, I was no longer really a backpacker. Something about now hauling a suitcase around destroyed that image. It sounds a little bit stupid to say, but I felt like I had been kicked out of an elite club. At any given opportunity, I was quick to explain to other backpackers why I had a suitcase, feeling the need to re-validate my membership in their club. For the weeks that would follow, I truly felt the dread of the end of my journey coming up. I was no longer a “worldly” traveller laden down with only the few items in my backpack. Instead, I was becoming a normal standard traveller. Each item of clothing, each face mask, each trinket I threw into that suitcase became a symbol of the heaviness in my heart that signified the dread of going home. I didn’t want to go home.


Like my first time in Seoul, I was completely besotted with the city. The time flew by in a blur of shopping, sightseeing and frequent trips to the local Korean BBQ joint. Lisa also, surprisingly enjoyed Seoul.


All too soon it was time to head back to the last stop in my journey. Thailand. Back to the beginning. I had about 2 and a half weeks left, and I decided that I didn’t really want to much of anything. Instead I wanted to go back and settle back into Thailand and make the trip home from there. The idea of being hurried, rushed or anything of the sort just did not appeal to me. I wanted to spend my last few weeks unwinding and collecting my thoughts on the journey I had done over the last 6 months in Chiang Mai. So that’s what I did. We headed straight up north and set up camp at Stamps Backpackers. Throughout my whole time travelling, it didn’t matter what city or country I was in, whenever I met a traveller who had spent time in Chiang Mai. They always talked about Stamps. I figured now was a good a time as any to go and have a look.



Within 10 minutes of arriving, I knew it was a good shout. Yes, it was a hostel, like everywhere else I stayed but it had one unique feature. It’s sleeping situation. Like other hostels in the region, the staff really put a lot of time and investment in activities, day trips and just fostering a sense of community with the individuals that travelled in and out of their doors. What made Stamps special in particular was the sleeping situation. While I didn’t get my own bedroom, neither did I get a bunk bed. Instead, I had my own little cubby styled room, with a privacy curtain. The cubby was small, but it had been the first time while travelling that I had such an immense source of privacy without actually having to fork out for a private room. I loved it.




My days here were spent lazing around Chiang Mai and having deep and random conversations with one of the hostels owners, Mike, a Canadian man who had fallen in love during his own time backpacking. While here I also felt the first stirrings of longing to go home. Yes, I was out here seeing the most amazing things, meeting a network of likeminded and open people and just experiencing things on a level that I just couldn’t do at home, I also missed everyone. I missed my Mum. I missed all of my friends. I missed Ballygowan’s Sparkling Natural Mineral Water. Schweppes soda water could barely hold a candle to it. I missed being able to tell what day of the week it was. I had fallen into a cycle of living day by day, not necessarily needing to know what day of the week it was. I had days where I could even begin to guess what day of the week because honestly... it just didn’t matter. I was living in an “as it comes” mindset and as a person who prides herself on organization and precision when it comes to planning... I was both horrified and impressed that I could do it.


People often say or throw out the phrase “I’m travelling to find myself”. Well I throw out the question, how can you try to find someone who has always been there? In travelling by myself for so long I got to know and become re-familiar with all aspects of myself. The good, the bad and unfortunately, the ugly. Nobody is lost, and people don’t need to find themselves. Rather, I believe in getting into mundane and habitual routines, we tend to forget or push back certain parts of our personality that we don’t believe need be present all the time. While travelling I remembered that as organized, succinct and tactful with others as I am on a normal daily basis, I can also be quite chaotic, scatter-brained and tactless. To a degree where one of the first things Lisa noted about me was how brash and direct, I was about decisions we were making.


I’ve always known this about myself, but during college I made a vested effort to dull down my sharp edges and to organize my chaotic-ness. To a point where I truly felt that it became my natural state of being. When in reality, it really isn’t. As a child growing up, I was a little anti-social and mostly kept to myself. While travelling, I learned to balance both sides of myself. Your only constant companion is yourself. Most times I didn’t need to defer to anyone about decisions I was making. And in the event that I did, they were with individuals who were just as invested in living life deeply in that moment as I was. There was an understanding that we didn’t need to rely on anyone but ourselves to have fun, so others were never really offended when straight and to the point opinions were shared.


It was these thoughts that I reflected on during my last few weeks and days in Thailand. It’s a load of rubbish really. We don’t travel to find ourselves. We travel to have fun, understand and explore other cultures a little bit more and meet new and interesting people. If we feel like we’re evolving along the way, then it’s just a little bit of our hidden selves just shining through.



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